


The Fanfic Café

by ButtonPastel



Category: Invader Zim(mentioned), Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:21:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27069304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButtonPastel/pseuds/ButtonPastel
Summary: This is made for @MelodyoftheVoid's birthday. This is just inspired & based off this funny video https://youtu.be/6xBqRO8MAlI
Kudos: 5





	1. Now Open

Menu:  
-Base Tropes  
Found Family  
Mutual Pining  
Enemies to Lovers  
Childhood Friends  
Strangers to Lovers  
Angst  
Fluff  
Smut  
Unrequited Love  
Arranged Marriage  
Soulmates  
Fantasy  
Hanahaki  
Crossover  
Hurt/Comfort  
Fake Relationship  
Established Relationship  
f I x i T  
Crack  
Body Swap  
X Reader

-Rating  
General  
Teen  
Mature  
Explicit

-Au Selection  
Coffee Shop  
Tattoo Artist & Florist  
College  
High School  
Amnesia  
Mafia  
Historical  
Royalty  
Supernatural(Please specify creature type)  
Sold to a band  
Harem

-Add Ons  
Only one bed  
Drunken Confession  
Miscommunication  
Major Character Death  
First Kiss  
Love Triangle

-Intensity Level  
Slow Burn (1-5)  
One Shot

-Length *Word count:  
<1,000  
<5,000  
<10,000  
<20,000  
<50,000  
<100,000  
>100,000

Please speak to a worker for inquiry on hidden explicit menu items *ID required

Specials  
-Fix IT fics  
-Free ADD ONs for College AU

Check

Fanfic Coffee

Check

Fiction Trope Scented Candles  
Fluff  
Vanilla, Strawberry, Peach, Jasmine  
Made By ButtonPastel  
Angst  
Smoke, Sandalwood, Clove, Cinnamon  
Made By ButtonPastel

Check

Title Merch Pins

Check

Uniforms

Check

|Part written by Horns  
You walked into the bubbly colorful café, starving for content, eyes took in pastel pinks and yellows, polka dots and soft gradients covered the walls, fluffy little reading books and curtained areas for privacy seemed just perfect for a fanfic haven.  
As you walked towards the counter you took notice of some music playing softly, maybe lofi or piano? Though it might have been Owl City, Regardless!  
You rang the service bell and a short brunette perked up, she walked over with a smile, adjusting her tag.  
“Howdy! Welcome to the Pastel fanfic café!”  
As an avid reader of campy stories you just had to take note of her curly dark brown hair and warm eyes behind purple and black glasses, a few freckles on her face. She seemed excited, if a little young to be writing anything in the explicit category, but looks could be deceiving,   
You asked for a menu and perused over the choices.|

*Doorbell rings*

ButtonPastel: Welcome to the Pastel Fanfic Café! I’ll be with you in a sec!


	2. Daily Shenanigans

Customer runs to counter crying. “Excuse me! Pardon me!” The customer sobs at MelodyoftheVoid. MelodyoftheVoid looks at the customer and says, “Yes?” The customer heaves, “I-I would like a refund!” Melody says, “Oh, I’m so sorry. What seems to be the problem?” The customer shouts, “The fanfic I ordered had major character death in it. And I did not ORDER major character death. I want a refund.” Melody’s eyebrow twitches as she gives a closed eyed smile and says, “I’m sorry, but we unfortunately can’t offer you a refund.” The customer quietly sobs, “Why-why not?” Melody explains, “Well as cafe policy for all customers, unless they order precisely what they want, they should check the ingredient recipe book.” The customer angrily sobs, “Oh, so you’re saying it’s MY fault.” Melody says, “No! I’m saying that as the consumer, you should be checking what you’re consuming before you-” The customer screeches, “I could sue you for emotional damages!” Melody tries not to sigh as she says, “I can offer you some hurt & comfort if you want…” The customer sobs as Melody tries to hold herself back from strangling someone.

Pirate-Berry serves the next customer stand in front of the order line. “Yeah, can I get a… uuuuuhhhhh-” Pirate-Berry looks at the customer with a straight(frisk undertale) face with a notebook in hand. “Uuuuuuuuhhhhh-” Pirate-Berry sighs as she thought, ‘Oh Boy, not again…’

Squishy Squid walks into the store with StarFunPLay. Squishy greets Chowfur near the counter, “Hi! Good to see ya!” Chowfur smiles grabbing a pencil and notepad in paw, “Hello again! The usual?” Star snorts and rolls her eyes as she says, “You have a usual? How predictable.” Squishy whispers to her, “Shut up~” And she says to Chowfur, “You know what?! No! I’m gonna order something different this time.” Chowfur’s puppy-like ears perk up as she says, “Oh? Ok!” Star slyly replies, “Oh~ Adventurous, are we?” Squishy looks at the menu and says, “Ummm… Well, let’s see… What are your specials?” Chowfur sticks their tongue out in thought, “Let’s see… The limited edition mermaid au is up until Tuesday, I believe. Oh! And for every Invader Zim au, you get a ZaDr love story and a ‘Professor Membrane tries to be a better dad’ included free of charge!” Squishy and Star ‘ooohs’ and whistles at the special options. Squishy looks at Star and asks, “Well, what are you gonna get Star?” Star hums and says, “Well, I’ll have the ‘enemies to lovers’ trope.” Chowfur scribbles, “One ‘Enemies to Lovers’.” Squishy snorts and asks, “And you call ME predictable?” Star raises her finger and says, “Uh, uh, uh… Buuuuut, I want everything else in the fic to be a surprise.”  
Squishy: (:0)  
Chowfur, looking slightly worried, says, “And are you sure you’re ok with everything that comes along with it?” Star nonchalantly waves her hand and says, “Go as hog-wild as you like.” Chowfur scribbles the order down and says, “All right…” Squishy nervously bites her bottom lip, “Uhhh…”  
Squishy sips her fanfic coffee with a disappointed look on her face. Star rubs the bridge of her nose and says, “And here, I thought we were gonna be adventurous today…” Chowfur bounces to the table and asks, “So, how’s the Invader Zim “enemies to lovers” slow burn? It’s light on the angst with a dash of miscommunication just how you like it.” Squishy smiles and says, “It’s great as always! Thank you very much.”

ReadGlare is making coffee while Abbiline waits for the order. Abbiline looks at ReadGlare and asks, “ What did YOU make recently in YOUR fic coffee?” ReadGlare casually says, “Flowers, blood, needless suffering, and a f**k ton of angst.” Abbiline looks in shock and slowly looks back at the written order and says, “Duly noted…”

ButtonPastel before working there  
ButtonPastel stands on her tippy toes while trying to look at LillyLoonLuna and asks, “Hey uh, do you carry any… x reader stuff?” Abbiline looks down at her and says, “Yes, of course. But I d0 warn you, the higher the quality, the harder it is to find. So, that will be reflecting on your price.” ButtonPastel lays her hands and TV chin on the counter and says, “Oh, that’s fine. I just want some unrequited self-insert loving right now.” Button tears up as Abbiline says, “I see. Well, I’ll have that for you in just one moment.” ButtonPastel proceeds to sob in the background as Abbiline tries to make the requested batch of coffee while All by Myself plays in the background. “You know what? I’ll give them a good discount, ‘cause they need it.”

The customer stands in line in front of Pirate Blueberry still trying to decide an order. Pirate says, “Do you have any ships in mind? I can narrow it down for you from there. If not, there’s a ‘Ships ‘R Us’ a couple streets down that can give you a ship that I can label.” “Nah, no thanks. I don’t think I want ships.” Pirate says, “Oh? Ok, a spontaneous mood today?” The customer says, “Idk, I’m just winging it.” Pirate’s eye twitches as she says, “Ah...Si…”

Melody and ButtonPastel giggle and rub their hands together. Melody says, “Ooooh~ This is where the fun begins~” ButtonPastel lays a cup of red-colored fanfic coffee, “Ok! So, we’re starting with the classic Invader Zim ‘enemies to lovers’ base here.” Melody sprinkles some cinnamon and says, “Let’s go ahead and add some bickering, because you can’t have an ‘enemies to lovers’ without the banter.” ButtonPastel sprinkles in some powdered sugar and says, “And while we’re at it, let’s add a pinch of passion. Well... maybe more than a pinch.” They evilly snicker as they pour more into the coffee.

Zib is currently having a break with one of the customers, Pinkie Pig. “That fan-edit store from a block away has been BOOMING since Tik-Tok became a thing. But, we’ve been having some good business here, too.” Pinkie’s eyes sparkle as she responds, “Really? That’s great to hear! What would you say has been your most popular items recently?” Zib respondes, “Well, Invader Zim is the main fanfiction source right now. And the ‘found family’ trope is always on high demand. Oh! Any ‘soulmate au’ flys off the shelves. ‘Enemies to Lovers’ is a hit. We got ‘royal au’, ‘coffee shop au’, ‘mafia au’... um…” Zib’s eyes widened the moment ButtonPastel wheels in cart-fulls of 18+ Explicit Content for restock. Pinkie raises her eyebrow, “And...?” Zib quickly grabs a towel and says, “That’s all I could think of right now.” Zib nervously laughs as they throw the towel at the cart. Pinkie jumped at the sudden move while Button was like (>:0)

Pirate Blueberry was STILL waiting for the customer who was STILL pondering on what to get. The customer thinks out loud, “Well, I don’t think I want anything super gory… Uh, how’s the A3O?” Pirate responds, “Uh, naughty. But, if you’re into that sorta thing, nice.”

Melody mixes the coffee together, explaining to ButtonPastel, “You’re gonna have to make sure it’s evenly distributed or the pacing will be wonky as hell.” ButtonPastel looks at the fanfic coffee and says, “Well, I think it’s still missing a little something-something.” Button gaspes and rushes to grab the vanilla-flavored almond milk and pours it in. “A heaping amount... of jealousy~” Melody laughs and says, “OH MAN~ It’s going to be FRUSTRATING as HELL for the readers!”

Usual customers  
Trash Panda: Ooooh-k… This is-  
Yikes Mike: -An “Unrequited Love” fic? I guess I could give it a try… *sips*  
ButtonPastel: Hey waiter! Can I get another one-shot over here?  
Trash Panda: Something that’s not fluffy, vanilla, wholesome, Rated G, E for everyone. This is hardcore; this is… intense; Rated M for mature.  
ButtonPastel: WOO!!! That’s the stuff!  
Trash Panda: *Cough Cough* Why is it spicy?!  
Yikes Mike: *Gags* God, that’s bitter!  
Trash Mike: *Wheeze* It’s too hot!  
ButtonPastel: Waiter! I’m gonna need 5 more of these babies!  
RainBott: What the hell, Pastel?! You work here!  
Yikes Mike: This is nothing but pain! Why would anyone voluntarily drink this?!  
Trash Panda: *Sobs* It’s so sour, too!!!

Melody pours a teaspoon of melted chocolate in the fanfic coffee, “Yearning…” ButtonPastel pours another teaspoon of chocolate, “More yearning…” Melody pours another teaspoon, “Even more yearning…” ButtonPastel mixes in some more chocolate saying, “You can never have too much yearning, honestly.” Melody nods, saying, “Yep.”

Paujama is currently counting the amount of money handed to her. “25, 26…” She looks down at Snugglecatkitkat who’s wearing sunshades and a way-too-large panda hoodie. Paujama angrily groans and clears his throat, “Can I help you ‘sir’?” Snugglecat responds with a deep voice, “Yes. Um, I would like the smut.” Paujama puts one hand on her hip and grabs the smut bottle asking, “You mean THIS smut? This smut right here?” Snugglecat nods as Paujama asks, “This smut that’s labeled ‘Keep out of reach of children’?” Snugglecat answers, “On the rocks.” Paujama puts down the bottle and looks down at her with her elbows on the table. Paujama puts her hand out saying, “Well, I’m gonna need some form of ID.” Snuggle hands a small sheet of paper saying, “Yes, of course.” Paujama looks at the sheet and it says, “I’m 18 I swear.” Paujama facepalms and says, “Listen kid, it’s against the literal law and my good conscience to sell this to you! So-” Snuggle quickly grabs the bottle and giggles in villany as she runs for the door. Paujama jumps over the counter and shouts, “Hey, get back here!!!” Horns awkwardly serves BAM their coffee as ButtonPastel laughs hysterically in the background. Snuggle shouts, “IT’S MINE!!! I’M GONNA CHUG IT!!!” She chugs the bottle down with no hesitation. She couldn’t get through half the bottle before dropping the bottle and screaming and collapsing on her knees. “AAAAAHHHHHH! IT BUUUURRRRRNNNNNNSSSSS!!!” Paujama grabs her by the back of her hood and shouts, “I told you not to take it you little shit! Now go to Horny Jail!”

ButtonPastel grabs the Vanilla Extract and walks over to her and Melody’s coffee. “Ok! Now we have to be very careful with this stuff because it’s potent and we will have a very unhappy ending if we had more than one dro-” Suddenly, her cat, Macy(gosh darnit Macy!!!), dashes past her, making her trip and fall. This causes the vanilla extract to spill into the coffee.  
ButtonPastel and Melody sit in front of the coffee with their elbows plopped on the table and ButtonPastel putting her folded hands against her mouth.

ButtonPastel looked at Melody and asks, “We f**cked up… didn’t we?” Melody grabs the coffee and swishes it around, looking in the cup. Melody sucks in a breath with her teeth and says, “OOooooohhh… We fucked uuuuuup…”


End file.
